Why is doing something fun so hard? And I mean innocent fun. Activities on your own where it’s solely for yourself. When you get older, there seems to always be a hang up.

Some of mine?

• I’m not going to be good at.

• I don’t have the time.

• I don’t have what I need.

• It’s not going to look good.

• People will think I’m an idiot for wasting my time.

Honestly. It’s bullshit.

During New Year’s I had a party to ring in 2022 and outside I had set out this cork board I’ve had that my college roommate gave me. I just got a Cricut for Christmas and I wanted to make it all fancy and cute so people could pin their resolutions on something aesthetically pleasing to take cute Instagram pictures with.

But instead, I decided to have a breakdown about my hair, and if you’re one of my curly-headed girls, then you’ll know that the time to fix my hair took precedence over a damn cork board.

So after half blow drying, half straightening, and finally re-wetting it all and settling on a curly half-do I took a piece of pink card stock and wrote:

PIN what you want to take with you into 2022

&

BURN what you want to die in 2022

and stuck it at the top of the board with a tack.

It was a hit. Even without all the frills. Three glasses of wine in and I got myself and some friends to write down something to burn.

On my card I write “negative self talk” and I burn it in our fire pit.

Now, we all know it didn’t really die. I’m not magically super confident. We’re not even through a complete week of the new year.

But I will tell you, I’ve taken a little extra time each day to do something I love. I’ve made sure it’s not something I feel like I have to do like go to the gym, or wake up at a certain time each morning, or anything like that.

I’ve started reading again. A fun book. Not a self-help book, but something for me to escape into.

I’m crocheting.

I’m writing.

And the words still slip into my mind.

Quietly they whisper, “You could be doing something more productive… What do you think everyone will think of you when they read this?… This doesn’t look like hers does!”

And I listen.

But I listen so that they don’t keep trying to barge in, mad from getting cut off.

I listen. I feel. I let them know that this is productive.

Taking time to enjoy hobbies and things that light your soul don’t have to be perfect.

They can just be fun.

So, I hope this year you find something you love to do.

Not for work.

Not for your friends or family.

Just for you.